Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Oh this is too good

I thought I had found a hilariously nonsensical argument for proof of the existence of God in my last post (which basically boiled down to "blah blah blah, because I say so, blah blah, blah blah"), but this one takes the cake.

I originally found the site when it was liked off of some Slashdot story. The link was to a comparison of the Open Source software movement to Islamic terrorism. Oh it gets better.

The first flag was that the site is called "The Objective Observer." Anything that needs to remind you in its URL that it is objective cannot be headed anywhere good. The about page contains the string "The Objective Observer" no fewer than 24 times. I must note that every single one of these are links back to the main page.

So back to the matter at hand. The article itself is a masterpiece of non sequitur, jumping from one irrelevant rambling to the next without a hint of justification or transition in sight. I have taken the time to sum up the article in a few sentences:

The Greeks had some vague idea about something like DNA, which caused them to come up with their gods which later became the Christian god. There were three Fates and something else called Fortune, and there are four base pairs in DNA, so therefore the Greeks had a magical insight about life. There were twelve titans and twelve "immortal Olympians," and since twelve is divisible by four, there is a genetic basis for the Greek gods.

DNA was created by "aliens, time travelers, divine intervention, psychic abilities and 'primordial link'." Since some animals have a faint ability to sense magnetism [which appears to actually be the case, to my surprise], this is true. Humans lost their primordial link because we got too intellectual.

"Pi is the unsolvable equation for life because pi represents a perfect circle." Greek mythology and chemistry can prove the value of pi.

God is highly evolved life.

The existence of DNA proves the possibility of Maxwell's Demon.

Scientists have unduly ignored creationist stories. Since it is easier to say "god did it," than it is to understand cosmic background radiation, Occam's Razor says that the creationists must be right.

What if aliens are driving our evolution as a means of intergalactic warfare?

DNA is like a really advanced computer [again, this is actually the case].

Humans will become advanced enough to create life, but doing so would require all the energy in the universe. DNA. Pi.

God exists. QED.

If you have a lot of time to kill, take a look at his (or her) discussion of pi, in which "The Lion King," the fact that it is impossible to draw a perfect circle, and the fact that pi appears in a formula involving gravity proves that pi is cosmically tied to life and something about god.

Be sure to take it in limited doeses and not before any test or assignment which requires logical though.